Two Candles Burn at my Window ~ Evening of Remembrance 23rd March

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“Search for the Pearl Inside Yourself” — Diana Jackson’s Muse, Views and Reviews

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Bereavement, Reflection and Moving Back into the World

My thoughts and prayers are with all who are struggling with loss through these strange times. Let’s pray that, phoenix like, new life will be born out of the fire of life through Covid.; New beginnings; a place renewed in its compassion for each other and the natural world all around us.

Diana Jackson's Muse, Views and Reviews

Bereavement

There are those touched by this pandemic in a way which will live with them for the rest of their lives;

there are those who have really struggled with the isolation and it has adversely affected their mental well being,

and there are others who have sailed through and managed to ‘get on with life’ quite cheerfully throughout.

Of course there is overlap too.

Sometimes I think it is hard for each group to appreciate the other’s situation.

I have been overwhelmed by the love and sympathy from friends, family and the wider community of Kinghorn when my Mum became ill and my father died of Covid back on 10th January.

Normal life ceased.

Dad died at 93 years old. He had been retired for longer than he worked, he had enjoyed a good healthy life, dancing and travelling with Mum until two years ago…. and the end was…

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A New Year ~ Hope for the World

Here is a song for our age as we reflect on what the world might be like when we are all vaccinated and can live a more ‘normal’ life again. But will we be the same? Will we treat the … Continue reading →

Thankfulness and A Pause for Breath

Dear reader I apologize for not being here for a while, but our family have had a crisis. My parents are both still alive at 93 and 87 years, which is amazing, but a huge concern through this Covid crisis … Continue reading →

Quiet Time and the Joys of You Tube to Start the Day

In my morning quiet time, one of the positive things to come out in my life during lock down when I’ve had time to reflect, pray and listen, I’ve found the greatest joy to focus my mind has been to … Continue reading →

The Tree of Life ~ a Positive Reminder

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This is a time of giving freely and receiving without pride. Many groups have been set up all over the world to support those who are vulnerable and isolated during this pandemic. Folks have been in tears at the generosity, … Continue reading →

The Hertfordshire Way ~ Codicote to St Albans thanks to Jackie McCall

The following post written by Jackie McCall on her lovely walking blog evoked so many happy memories of my days growing up in the St Albans area: A dear friend who used to live in Wheathamstead Batchwood Golf Course where … Continue reading →

Gaze in fondness to the past or embrace the present, or both ~ Spiritual Reflection Part 7

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This Sunday morning I’ve listened to ‘Praise my Soul the King of Heaven,’ two versions, one in the familiar and well loved setting for me, St Paul’s Cathedral and one in the USA by a professional choir, where the lyrics … Continue reading →

Amazing Grace ~ Forgiveness ~ a spiritual pause for reflection Part 6

I promised an honest reflection on my journey of faith but this is the hardest post to write. In one of my earliest posts I explained that my memory of a card of encouragement when I was confirmed into the Church of England at the age if 12 was the Holman Hunt painting ‘here I stand at the door and knock,’ but in actuality I was given a print of the painting of Christ with the caption ‘The Lord turned and looked upon Peter … and Peter remembered.’

Did I remember?

My first stumble was confusion when teaching so many children of different faiths. I was not mature enough at the time to understand that God does love all of the little children. Our role is not to judge but to care for them too.

the cock crowed

My second stumbling was confusion about different Christian groups and what they stood for. Being part of a charismatic fellowship but also involved in a Church of England Sunday night live fellowship. Neither understood the other or valued each other and it threw me into confusion.

the cock crowed

I still held on to my own faith nevertheless; that was until I stumbled into a destructive relationship with a man who was jealous of my church activities, my friendships and even my family at times. A few years later, with my confidence destroyed and my church life and support fractured to non existence, I ran away!

The cock crowed

Gradually I began life anew. I tried to attend a church but was embarrassed because I couldn’t stop crying. I couldn’t forgive myself, my abusive partner, let alone accept forgiveness myself.

Twice I travelled the world in search of meaning, carrying out voluntary work in Sri Lanka and backpacking through South America. 

I secured a job teaching young adults and teenagers, giving them a second chance. It was so rewarding, but hard work. It was my life, gave me stability, but there was still something missing in my life. I began to write and published three novels. 

I remarried and eventually we moved to Fife, but I was still searching and during the first year here I walked The Fife Coastal Path and subsequently wrote The Healing Paths of Fife.

We began to go to church every month or so and also high days and holidays but it was in the quiet, on my own that I began to find my faith once more. 

Throughout this pandemic, and even several months before that, my quiet times have become an integral part of my life.

Peace, Listen, Sing, Pray, Reflect, Read the Word and React. 

I cannot imagine the pattern of my life any other way now and yes, I

have truly forgiven myself,

                               forgiven others

                                               and received forgiveness.

It is wonderful that I’m in Scotland now and Amazing Grace is even more special to me.