Loneliness, Doubt but still the Sun Shines

Today I decided to make a first attempt at cover design. Although I formatted Norman’s memoir cover, a friend did the original design. I had an idea but after playing about in Microsoft Word and then trying it out in Serif, abandoning that idea and trying another, I wasn’t happy with either my head ached.

The forecast was snow and clouds loomed the other side of the water above the mountains but here it was still clear and the tide was out. I grabbed a thick coat and gloves, pulled on my wellies and headed for the beach, striding out to the water line where I could paddle. I was mesmerised by the sea creeping in. I watched the wavelets and following in my elderly friends footsteps I said the names of each loved one as each wave reached me; a prayer if you like.

I breathed the cool fresh air before strolling back up the beach, refreshed. Time for one more attempt before lunch but first I looked at some novels covers for inspiration and scrolled through my own photos. Software of photos I’d bought for a fiver were more than useless because  they were not good enough quality for printing.

I placed all likely photos in a folder and did some editing in Picasso. Could I really succeed? Am I kidding myself?

Looking up I noticed that it was still clear skies but clouds were in the distance, a bit like my doubts, hovering on the horizon of my mind.  I grabbed a quick lunch before walking up the cliff steps, all 120 steps in one go mind, and headed for the shops, my doubts blown away on the wind.

On my way back a few drops of rain fell on my face, which I ignored. I prayed that it would hold off just enough time to get me back. I was certainly listened to because, laden with shopping, I reached home just before the heavens opened and I watched the rain from the comfort of the window.

My moments of doubt forgotten I completed and printed out the first draft of a cover, wrote the back blurb and sat down and relaxed. At times, spending hours in my own company, loneliness creeps in, but it soon passes with the satisfaction of all that I’m achieving.

As a writer, loneliness is often of our own choosing so please don’t feel sorry for me. This is my chosen place of exile but there is plenty to do here. I could be involved in activities in the village 24/7 but then I would no work done.

Anyway, on days like today, knowing that people are out there on the internet saying hello means a lot to me.  I’m never really alone.

ps In the end I was offered another route to having my book cover designed which you might heard about on my other blog. Students from North Herts College entered a competition and voila ~ problem solved.


About Diana Jackson

Author of 'The Healing Paths of Fife', Historical Romantic fiction ~ The Riduna Series set in 19th and early 20th Century a murder mystery ~ 'Murder, Now and Then' and two memoir. What links my books ~ history! Website:www.dianamaryjackson.co.uk Blog:www.dianamj.wordpress.com Riduna on Twitter and on Facebook too!
Gallery | This entry was posted in A Message, Here and Now, Life and Hope, Living the Dream, Memoirs and tagged , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

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